Are you glossy or matte?

Why you should never hide your personality at work

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Never dull your shine

This idea of needing to be “professional” or convey some kind of image when you’re either job searching or just existing in the workplace has to stop. The number of times this week alone I heard from people something like, “I was told I couldn’t use this photo,” or “I was told to tone it down, that I was too much, too happy, had too much energy, etc.”

And you can take a wild guess that most of these were women hearing it and men saying it. But I digress. Because while gender matters it also doesn’t.

No one should be told to be less.

To be something they aren’t and to tone down who they are in the workplace or any place.

When you ask someone to fundamentally change their personality, you’re preventing them from doing their best work.

From feeling confident.

From feeling accepted.

You’re telling them: you don’t belong here.

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Be glossy, not matte

I was fortunate to be a guest expert for an alumni event this week, held at the legendary Player’s Club in Gramercy Park. There was a panel focused on The Business of Entertainment in which various alums shared their stories of going from college to career. How they broke into the industry and what helped them to succeed.

As the panel was coming to a close, one of the panelists — a lawyer — was talking about the importance of finding a company where you can be yourself. She said she has a big personality and that’s what her clients love about her. She’s not going to be quiet. She’s going to be loud and excited when she lands a deal for her clients. They love her excitement.

Then she said that she once heard someone say, “Do you want to be glossy or do you want to be matte?”

In order words, don’t feel like you need to dull yourself to fit in.

If you’re glossy, stay glossy.

And find a place and people who will want that.

I promise it’s possible.

Yes, you might have less options, but you’ll have better options.

And isn’t that the point?

Just me and Christopher Plummer (emerging from a swamp?) at my table inside the Player’s Club.

I held almost 10 speed networking sessions with current students and alums of all ages who wanted to get some advice and support around their professional brand. It was so exciting to see young people already thinking about this and of course, to help current professionals either pivot or hone their brand for what’s next. I can’t wait to do more of these!

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If you enjoy my content, have attended a free workshop, or simply want to do something nice, feel free to buy me a coffee (or glass or two of wine).

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Do I really have to tone down my personality to be professional?

Nope. “Professional” doesn’t mean “personality-free.” You can do great work and be your full, vibrant self. If someone tells you to tone it down, they’re really saying they’re not your people.

How can I show my authentic self at work without getting labeled “too much”?

Find environments that value your energy instead of policing it. The goal isn’t to fit in — it’s to find a space that lets you shine. Glossy beats matte every time.

What if being myself means I won’t fit in everywhere?

Then good. You’ll have fewer options, but they’ll be better ones. The right places and people will appreciate you for who you are — not who you’re pretending to be.