The most dreaded question
In every presentation I ask the audience what the most dreaded question is.
And without fail, they all know.
So tell me about yourself or what do you do.
What I find funny about this is that we all know this question is coming. And worse, we ASK this question of other people.
And still, we're paralyzed, frozen or simply fumble and stumble through the response.
Why?
If we know this question is going to be asked, why aren't we prepared?
The truth is we are prepared, but most of us don't answer it the right way. Because we don't hear the real question.
Most of us are so concerned with answering how we THINK the other person wants us to answer, and not with the response we want to give.
But the question is 'Tell me about yourself, or What do you do,' not tell me your job title.
Your job title doesn't tell them what you do.
Your job title is typically generic and meaningless.
Tell me what you love
I always say that when someone asks you this question, what they really want to know is your story.
Who are you and what makes you tick.
Recently on Adam Grant's Rethinking podcast, he was talking to comedian Mae Martin and the conversation turned to getting to know people.
And Adam said, "[rather than the] what do you do question? I want to ask what do you LOVE to do? [I want to] hear about your passions and soak those up and I find it so strange that people think that's uncomfortable — why would you not want to share things that you care about?"
Let's read that again: Why would you not want to share things that you care about?
Yes, yes and yes!
Who knew an organizational psychologist could sum up exactly the problem with this question and the better way to ask it and frame it?
This is what I always tell my clients.
When you add something to your bio or your story that you love, a hobby or passion, it just makes the conversation easier.
It makes the connection easier and it gets both of you animated and talking about what REALLY matters to you.
And that's so much more impactful than your job title.
So the next time you need to ask or answer the dreaded question, try reframing it and asking or answering What do you LOVE to do instead. And then tell me how it went!
Want to truly love what you do?
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